What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
