My first STD was from a foam party
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
