dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
