I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
