Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
