Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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