My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
