how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
