I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
