He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
