So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
