Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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