he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
