she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize