I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize