Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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