its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
