He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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