Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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