I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
