so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
