i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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