"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
im holly from the hills drunk
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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