Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
