I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The air was thick with penises
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
