what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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