I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
