She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
