Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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