Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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