omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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