Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Jerry, you need to find god
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize