shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
