Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
