There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Someone shattered a urinal.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
