I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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