Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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