She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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