and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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