did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
