my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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