So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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