i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
this boner is exhausting
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
