Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
