you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize