Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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