my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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