you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
not ubering you a puppy
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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