wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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