apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
