I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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