She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
