After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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