sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
