when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
