How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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