why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
FUCK WHALES
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
