shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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