i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
