i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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