I should be sponsored by Trojan
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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