so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
