She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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