How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
