Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
