Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize