I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
