Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
