How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
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