Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
