i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
